Your Restaurant: A Love Story

Your decision to open a restaurant is like deciding to get into any new relationship. You play around with the idea at first. Are you ready? Is this something you can see yourself committing to long-term? Do you even LIKE restaurants like that?

For fun, I put together this timeline of your relationship with your restaurant…enjoy!

Just like dating, these first 3–12 months can be the most fun stage of your relationship with your restaurant. The idea is still fresh in your head that this might be what you want and it seems exciting. The more you start thinking about this restaurant, the more you can’t stop thinking about it. You start thinking of cute names, future plans, how the restaurant will fit into your life (What life, but more on that later!). The next thing you know, BOOM! You’re in love.

This restaurant isn’t like other restaurants…this one is different. This one is cool because it’s yours! The more you imagine your future together, the more this restaurant seems like the one! You can’t get this restaurant out of your head…Time to put a ring on it. In this restaurant, you see your hopes and dreams. You’re ready to give it your everything to make this marriage work! Your closest friends are gonna be excited, others are gonna think you’re crazy. But this is YOUR life, and this is the restaurant of your dreams!

So you sign the paperwork and commit and now you’re ready to build your life together. Of course, you’re going to have ups and downs, that’s how any marriage works. After all, you’re together ALL. THE. TIME. Some days it’s great and some days you just wish you could be left alone. But you’ve committed yourself to make this work. Everything you do is for the sake of the relationship so once everything seems stable enough, it’s time to make the big announcement to your friends and family: Your due date…I mean, your grand opening!

Now you really have to get everything together because in 9 short months (This time frame could be less, but for the sake of the story just go with it) you are about to give birth to this amazing new place. Who knew this day would come so soon. No one thinks you’re ready but it doesn’t matter. You’ve scheduled the delivery, there’s no turning back. You’re creating something amazing!

So much preparation! No matter how prepared you THINK you are, you are never prepared enough. You think you’re getting ready to unleash this perfect place into the world not knowing it could turn into your worst nightmare at any given moment.

However, no matter what happens, you’re gonna love it because this is YOUR baby — a labor of love! As many first-time parents do, you make the mistake of thinking you need to go out and get the best of the best! Why wouldn’t you? You’re still seeing the world with rose-colored glasses, full of hope and excitement, in no way ready for the rollercoaster ride that’s to come.

Then HO-LY SHIT! So many highs and lows in just the first few weeks! Why didn’t anyone tell you about this?! You think you know what your restaurant needs and then it needs something else. You’ve got people telling you left and right how great it is, meanwhile it’s keeping you up at night 7 days a week. And then you realize it will be like that for at least the next 2–3 years!! WTF were you thinking?!?! Who said this was a good idea??? And how TF are you going to afford it??

Talk about growing pains. In this first year of being open, you quickly learn that this is not all it’s cracked up to be! But hell will freeze over before you become a statistic! You’re on your feet all day and all night physically and mentally drained catering to this thing YOU created BY CHOICE just praying it doesn’t shit on you! Forget about a social life…this is your life now. And it’s a money pit! But hey, if you keep working through everything, maybe next year you’ll finally be able to take a break, right?

Yay, to you for now making it to year two! You beat the odds! It almost feels like you’ve got things where they need to be. You’ve figured out your parenting style and you’ve developed a routine. Maybe now you can get a couple of days off. But you’ve never left your baby alone before. How will it function with you not around? No one else knows how to give it what it needs…How do you find someone you trust that can handle the responsibility of taking care of your pride and joy while you’re away?! Even worse, while you’re away, it’s all you can think about. Ugh, why is this so hard?

But in the end, your hard work pays off and you manage to make it to year three. Anyone can have a restaurant but it takes a special someone to keep it alive. So if you’ve gotten to this point, you’re halfway there. Your chances of survival only get better after the 5-year mark. But I’m not here to walk you through all of that. At this point, all you can do is hope you’ve created something great enough that will eventually end up taking care of you.

Ok, enough with the analogy but here’s the takeaway…

Let’s face it, restaurant ownership, like parenting, is one of the hardest jobs you can have. I don’t know what it’s like to be a parent but I do know what it’s like to run a restaurant. I also know what it’s like to be a pain in the ass kid to people who have nothing but the best intentions. Here are a couple of “parenting” tips to make it less stressful for you.

• Get systems in place, write down your routines and then teach them to someone you trust so that you can get away and not be worried if the place is still standing when you get back. You will burn out if you are the only one able to take care of your restaurant.
• Don’t be a helicopter parent. It’s exhausting for everyone. We know you want your hand in everything and want to make sure things are being done correctly, but you have to back off. Your staff won’t want to work for someone that is constantly doubting their abilities and you don’t want to have to constantly watch over the people taking care of your restaurant. You have to trust that they are doing their job. If they AREN’T doing their job, that’s when you find someone that will. But trust me, micromanaging is not a sustainable business model for anyone.
• Remember your why. Why did you open a restaurant, to begin with? Was it because you wanted something that would take up all your time and energy day in and day out? Or was it because you wanted to create something you could be proud of and that would afford you a little freedom. If it’s the latter, then you need to start setting yourself up so that that becomes a reality. You don’t want to end up resenting your baby because it took away your life.

Restaurant ownership can be one of the most rewarding jobs. Just make sure that it is for you before you bring one into the world. Unless you’re entering into it expecting to fail, it is a long-term commitment. And much more expensive than a divorce to get out of.